Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What is truer than that which is true?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What was your best unexpected reunion with your childhood best friend?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

How can someone in your family purposely try to destroy your reputation?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can’t get any girl I want, but I can just get some not my type of girls, so I feel I’m so ugly. What should I do?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Fog of trade war hangs over economy, but the Fed still has to make a forecast. Here’s what it’s faces. - MarketWatch

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

5 Simple Walking Tricks That Burn Fat and Build Muscle, According to a Trainer - Eat This Not That

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why do some women squirt and some don't?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can read

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Is it possible for sociopaths to feel genuine remorse for their actions or thoughts towards others, even if they are skilled at hiding it from others?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I see through liars

Apple's Latest Movie Trailer Innovation Suggests The Future Of Premium Home Viewing - SlashFilm

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Have you made a female relative or friend squirt?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

How do you leave a relationship when you are still in love?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Kuorans can you write a sad story about kpop?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Can a relationship really last forever?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fakery

Has Great Britain ever been considered a "hyper-power" like the United States or Russia are currently considered? If not, why?

I actually pay taxes

I can count

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have a reading level above third grade

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday